Alumni Couples Cherish St. John’s Courtship as They Renew Vows

March 7, 2023

One of St. John’s University’s core values—love—was in full display as alumni couples who found their soulmates returned to celebrate each other and their fondness for alma mater at the Blessing of the Couples Mass on February 12.

Celebrated by University President Rev. Brian J. Shanley, O.P., at St. Thomas More Church on the Queens, NY, campus, the Mass allows couples an opportunity to renew their vows while rekindling old friendships and reminiscing about a bygone era in their lives. 

Couples married as little as one year and as long as 70 were on hand for the annual event. Robert Byrnes ’53C and wife Helen '53TCI—who will be married 70 years next month—met as members of the St. John’s University Chappell Players Theatre Group and attended the Lewis Avenue campus in Brooklyn, NY.

“She played the queen in Richard III and I was the stage manager,” Mr. Byrnes fondly recalled, adding that he knew he was smitten immediately. With a wry smile, his wife said she needed a little convincing. “We met in June and were married by November,” Mr. Byrnes explained, noting that she didn’t need that much convincing.

Both cherish their long association with St. John’s, and Mr. Byrnes said he is a frequent attendee at Lewis Avenue reunions.

Robert Guida ’85CBA, ’90MBA and his wife, Mary Ann ’86CBA, ’07MBA, met as members of a bowling team affiliated with St. John’s. Mrs. Guida had dated two other members of the team, and her husband proudly noted, “She saved the best for last. Where are those other guys now?”

Mrs. Guida, an accountant, noted they’ve been together 40 years and married for 33. “We have come here almost every year since it started,” she said. They also attend the annual Oktoberfest gathering, as well as several Men’s Basketball games each season.

Anthony Battista, M.D., FAAP ’76C and his wife Maryanne ’77P met during their first year at St. John’s in a Biology class. What brought them together, he joked, “was chemistry, not biology.” Mrs. Battista politely disagreed.  

“We were friends quite a while as she was dating someone else when we met,” he explained.

They started dating in their junior year and have been together ever since. Today, Mr. Battista is a pediatrician in Garden City, NY, and his wife has been a Staff Pharmacist at NYU Langone Hospital Long Island in Mineola (formerly Winthrop University Hospital) for the last 25 years. “We both share the same mistress—pharmacy,” Mrs. Battista explained, “and that makes our marriage that much stronger.”

“The Blessing of the Couples Mass and reception embodies everything that is special about St. John’s—the love and dedication of our proud alumni,” said Mark A. Andrews, Director of the Office of Alumni Relations, of the more than decade-long tradition.

During his homily, Fr. Shanley reflected on Matthew’s Gospel in which Jesus told his followers to reject the notion of an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, but rather to turn the other cheek. “‘An eye for an eye,’ speaks to our tendency to hit back harder than we are hit,” Fr. Shanley said. “We must not seek retribution, even when we are harmed.”

He explained it is often the case in a marriage that when one spouse feels wronged they are tempted to retaliate. Couples must have the same humility as Jesus and find out what they have done to upset their partner by asking, “How did I fail you? Please tell me.”

“Our willingness to ask the person who wants to retaliate against us for what we did is the beginning of reconciliation,” Fr. Shanley said. “Sometimes when we find out why someone is hurt by what we said or did, we say to ourselves, ‘I didn’t intend that at all. I’m sorry.’”

He added, “Sometimes the impact of what we say or do—or not say and do—can harm someone else. Asking that question can solve the problem.