Tips For Dealing With Your Homesick
College is an exciting time for students and parents and is
also a time to make challenging adjustments to living apart. The
following are tips for making the transition a smooth one when your
child leaves for St. John’s.
Accept that things will be
A new family dynamic is created when a student heads off to
college, especially if it is your first child leaving home.
Acceptance of this change and the feelings that accompany it -
feelings of loss and of freedom - are the first step to
dealing with them.
Don’t panic over
Homesickness is normal, and a natural part of leaving home and
becoming independent. Discourage your child from coming home
too soon or too often. While it may seem comforting, it keeps
them from making new friends and prolongs their period of
Don’t cry on their
Resist the temptation to tell your student that you’re sad or
lonely if you are struggling with your own separation anxiety. Let
them know they are missed, but be positive and encourage them to
continue making a life for themselves at school.
Lend your emotional
Students need parental patience, understanding, and love as they
adjust to university life. Keep the lines of communication open and
be reassuring when they call. As they become more independent, you
may find that your bond with them strengthens.
Send a screenful.
Give your child space, but keep in touch. E-mail works really
well. Messages can be sent and answered anytime without
interrupting study. Keep the messages positive and
Remind them to ask for
Academic, emotional and spiritual support is all available at St
John’s University to help your child succeed. They just have to
ask. The Counseling Center has professional staff available to meet
with your child in a safe, supportive, confidential atmosphere,
especially if homesick feelings become overwhelming and/or get in
the way of daily activities.
The Counseling Center on the Queens campus is located in
Marillac Hall Room 130 and can be reached at (718) 990-6384. The
Counseling Center on the Staten Island campus is located in Flynn
Hall, Room 115 and can be reached at (718) 390-4451.