I have never laughed so hard, cried in front of so many people, felt completely out of my element, but strangely feel so at home during my two week stay in South Africa. I was home. At home with the people, the culture, the environment, everything; I have never been so far from my family, but felt so much at home. I have never felt so dirty and unattractive, but so happy and cheerful at the same time. I fell so madly and deeply in love with South Africa. I have never felt so completely sure if I should become a teacher; I never questioned this idea of teaching until I was in South Africa. It only took two short weeks to find meaning in my twenty years of life.

Never in my life have I truly been good at something. I have never been an athlete, nor a straight A student. I have been mediocre in everything I have done in life. South Africa is where I found out what I am truly capable of. I am able to meet total strangers, and turn them into my family. I am able to not even understand a child’s name, but hold them until they fall asleep in my arms. I am able to look beyond race, gender, age, medical issues, or anything at all towards a child. I am able to spend time with a child and treat them as if they were my own. Many people cannot do that and this is one thing I am truly capable of and very proud of.

I believe the trip has not made me a completely different person, but allowed me to bring out a side of me that has always been there. I have always had a weak spot for children, but now I realize what I can do for a child. This trip has made a difference in my life, by doubting if I should become a teacher; if that is what is right for me. I do not know if teaching is right for me. I do not know if I can live with just teaching a child. I feel as if I need to create a program or an adoption service for children. I understand teaching changes children’s lives, but I need to do more than that. I want to adopt. I want to give. I truly want to work in the orphanages like we saw in South Africa. I am a hands-on person-I want to hug and hold hands with children-yet with teaching I cannot do that. I am so extremely lost, but in the best way possible. I believe I will become a teacher, because that is what I know; but I believe I will do more than just teach. South Africa has made me different in a way that I am thankful for. It has brought out a side of me that needed to come out. It has taught me what life is like for others and because of that I am extremely grateful for my life and for what I have.

I would help the first orphanage we visited in South Africa. I would do anything to make their financial situation better. Those women adopted nine random children with medical issues and took them in as their own family. I have never seen a person so selfless in my life. They need money badly and I would do anything to help them. I truly hope we did help this orphanage by donating money and spending time with the children. I truly saw myself working somewhere like that in the future.

I believe I deserve an A in the class during the time period in South Africa. I volunteered in the class and reflection discussions. I worked well with others during the trip and I embraced the children and the culture of South Africa. I believe I got down and dirty with the children, painting a school for them, holding them, and truly connecting with the children. It was not hard for me to grasp anything we encountered. I found myself feeling more at home when we were put in certain situations. I realized how others on the trip were behaving and it disgusted me. We were not here on a spa type of vacation or to relax 24/7 and I realized our days were long and tiring, but I loved that. I loved coming back to the hotel feeling as if I did something, rather than feeling as if I did not get my lunch for the day.

It has been a few weeks since we have been back and I am dying to go back to South Africa. Nothing else matters anymore in Connecticut. I don’t know if it is just me or because I have never really been anywhere like that, but I miss it. I find myself looking at photos and just reflecting on my time there. The trip is almost a blur; the two weeks felt like forever, but looking back it went by so fast. I should not have been there; I could not afford it, but I am so lucky. This trip to me was meaningful and so worth it. I hope everyone who was complaining or just being ridiculous regrets every comment they have made.    

During our final reflection, we were asked why we wanted to come here and why we signed up for the trip. Many people said it was because it was their dream to come here or because they never been to South Africa. It hit me, I could care less where we were, what country we were in; I was there to help the children. Do not get me wrong, South Africa was amazing; the food, the views, the sites; but I was there for the children. It has never been my dream to visit South Africa or to go make a connection with my family history; I was there for the children; that is it. The children made me fall in love with South Africa; they were so friendly and kind; the sites, the views, and the food were just was the icing on the cake. I felt so peaceful with the adults there and the way they spoke was so calm and the way they welcomed us was amazing. I am forever thankful for this trip because my family is not able to go away and experience areas like other people have. This is something that I will reminisce and talk about with my family forever. Home is where your heart is. Home is where you find peace and calmness. Home is where your family is. I found home in South Africa. I found a new me. I found someone who has always been inside of me. I found a new dream, and a new drive for life. I found this all in the matter of two weeks in South Africa. I know that this is not going to be the last time I go to South Africa. I will be back; older and wiser, but with the ability to complete my dream of helping the children. I will do whatever it takes to find that “home” feeling again until I go back. Words cannot describe how I felt during the period that I was there. I know how much this trip meant to others and me. I would not change one single thing about this trip. We came, we saw, we changed others’ lives for the better. I am proud to say that I am in the School of Education, a part of the group of students who went to South Africa, and that I made life a little easier for others in need.