During class reflection time on the trip I was asked, “What was the reason you came on this trip?” I honestly didn’t have much of an answer except that I take advantage of every opportunity I can. I consider myself a world traveler having been to approximately twenty countries in the last six years. Unlike others on the trip, I did not have a personal background or story that connected to the issues currently happening in South Africa. For example, I do not know anyone in my family affected by AIDS or HIV, yet I hugged and danced with children who are sick with the disease and this forever changed my life. Looking back at the moments I had with those children made me realize I need to be appreciative of the time I have. When I got back to New York, my life quickly went to it’s usually fast pace style. Taking a step back and analyzing the trip, I have a new recognition for the moments of each day, which was proudly created by my trip to South Africa. I purely went into the trip knowing nothing and expecting anything, and I can truthfully say everything I experienced transformed me into a different human being.

Since arriving back in the states, I have encountered many young children around the same age as the ones we worked with abroad. My first instinct is to interact and hug and play with them. I was quickly deferred from that instinct by strange looks of parents and sometimes even the children themselves. This was an odd instinct for me to have seeing as I am an adolescent major and I tend to gravitate towards older children. On May 18^th, I wrote the following in my notepad: “Treat and care about every child in the USA like the children in South Africa.” Children in the states can have the same issues as those in South Africa, they just may be harder to see in our society depending on the geographic location. Regardless, no matter where in the world, educators need to have an open mind to their students in an effort to demonstrate the capability of passion and the act of caring. I left South Africa knowing I want to demonstrate these efforts to every child or student I encounter, because that is what I believe they need most.

Once I arrived back in the states, it was easy for me to get lost in my old lifestyle. I found myself impatiently waiting for 20 minutes to pass while I was at work. I was very eager for those 20 minutes to pass so my shift would be over. Later on, I realized that just a few days ago I had been wishing I had 20 more minutes with the children who were changing my life more than I was changing theirs. As I continued to think, I realized a list of events that can happen in 20 minutes, good and bad. These thoughts have made me more grateful for every second I have. Yes, I may want to leave work, but those 20 minutes are still money. I get in a paycheck, something I have that the majority of people in the townships do not.

Speaking of what people don’t have, most people are not capable of spending $300,000 or more on a 16^th birthday party. A recent show on television exploits this type of lifestyle and it is truly saddening. Just the thought of how much St. John’s helped out a couple hundred kids with a few thousand dollars that was fundraised in comparison to how much money was wasted on one party is very difficult to think about. However, it is not only the people outside of South Africa that do very little to help the issues going on, but even the people of South Africa themselves who continue to live their comfortable lives right next door to hundreds of thousands of blacks in townships. It is very obvious to recognize the whites and “coloureds” who work and live together just fine and show no signs of segregation. However, outside of the city center are the hundreds of thousands of “blacks” who still suffer from the affects of apartheid today. The first thing I would change is the mindset of the native whites and coloureds. I think once they realize the issues happening right in their backyard, there can be a very successful chain reaction of progression towards an equal way of life for all.

Every single child and location in need that I came across I felt somewhat responsible for. At one of our last stops in Khayelitsha, we visited a day care center of pre-schoolers and kindergarteners. I was still getting comfortable with the atmosphere when I noticed a girl in all pink crying. I immediately picked her up and comforted her. From the moment I picked her up, until I put her down for her nap, she did not speak one word, but she didn’t have to. I held her in my arms, on my hip, and even over my shoulder. Just giving her comfort. She was so secure with me that the moment I tried giving her to another student so I could attend the restroom, she broke out in hysterical tears. Unfortunately, this shows a huge sign that many people come into her life and then leave or don’t show up at all, not representing stability. At this moment I had been with her for a few hours, most likely more than what other people have spent with her. The ideas flowing through my head were heart wrenching and made me hold her more. Eventually it was naptime for the day care center and she had fallen asleep in my arms. Luckily, it was easy for her to let me put her in the nap room, but I cannot say the same for me. I still remember her going through her jacket pocket and finding some crust off of bread and nibbling from it. Her mother or older sibling could have provided that for her to get her through the day. Here in America, we throw away crust and even sell bread with no crust!

Now that I am home, everyday I think about the accessibility I have to food, knowledge, finances, and good health. All my needs are met but without the ability to take a step back and reflect, which is something my trip to South Africa has made me more capable of. Now I truly feel that I have more appreciation for everything I have and I am more of a complete person.

Regarding the class, I find it hard to put a grade on an experience like the one we were given. Everyone took different things from the journey and applied them in different ways. If anything should be graded, it should be the people’s mindset and openness to the experience. Did they want to be there? Did they want to make a difference? Like I mentioned earlier, interacting with young toddlers was something I was not comfortable with before the trip. However, through this trip I have a new found appreciation for this age group along with hundreds of memories and pictures to remind me of my smiles and tears that were shared during this life changing journey.