By all means, this trip has changed not only the way I view things as an American but also the way I view my own birthday. This trip has had an enormous impact on me; my own roommate in South Africa noticed a difference and my brother saw this change. In fact my brother was emotionally impacted when he saw how much of a personal growth I went through. I’m grateful for the experience but I feel selfish about the style that I live. I wish that we spent more time there so that we could have made as much as an impact on going there left on us.                

Going on this trip I had no exceptions. All I knew was that we were going to Johannesburg and Cape Town for two weeks to work with children. I knew that we had a class that we were going to take there and that we would be traveling once we were in South Africa; but I never would have imagined doing the things we did and seeing the things we did.                

I went on this trip with two goals, to work with children, and to run away from my birthday. As odd as that may sound, I didn’t want to celebrate my 20^th birthday. To me, that was the scariest part of this trip. Going away on my birthday was a way to get away from that and to run away from something that everyone looked forward to. I figured that if I went to South Africa, where no one knew me and no one could get in touch with me then I wouldn’t get a birthday candle to blow out and a “happy birthday” from anyone.  I was all for that! Every time someone asked when it was or if it was coming up I would lie. However, it wasn’t until the day that we went to the orphanages that I realized I was wrong to think that. During our meeting that night when everyone shared their feelings, another student mentioned how he was so grateful to have been able to grow up and be the age that he was because some of these children wouldn’t be able to have that opportunity. When the days started ticking down to the night before my birthday, I came to terms with it. I realized that here I was being selfish about growing up after having done so much in my life and seeing so much and here there are children who might never have the privilege of achieving that age and experience. So, the day of my birthday when everyone was wishing me a “happy birthday” I accepted them but not just for myself but for all the children that I met who won’t have the same blessing as me.                  

The day after we came home I was in my back yard with my brother talking about the trip, telling him everything that we saw, the things I ate, the children, my whole experience. Half way through our talk I noticed that my brother was getting a bit emotional, his eyes were tearing up and he was sniffling. I didn’t understand why he was getting so upset, I asked him what was wrong and he just came over and gave me a hug. He said he was proud of me and everything that I did and the way that I acted. He saw how much the trip made me grow.                

During our talk I spoke about my view of the trip and how I didn’t have any exceptions; I just went with the flow of things. I was never let down because I didn’t have anything to base it off. For me, every day was fun and exciting whether we were working with children or going to the top of a mountain or taking a 6 hour bus ride. Every day that we were there, I learned about South Africa, people on the trip, the children and myself. I told him that I felt like the annoying little sister of the trip, always hyper and ready to play. But when no one was hyper and they didn’t want to play I would just sit back and observe everyone. I realized that unlike some on the trip I was content with the little things of trip, playing Uno in the rooms and getting to know others better, teaching someone how to make a bracelet on the bus or giving a child my Chile bracelet and watching him show it to his friends. I didn’t care that we weren’t allowed to go out, that we couldn’t bungee jump, or that we were stuck on a bus with a tour guide that made funny noises or talked too much or didn’t talk enough. I was always happy and I was always willing to make others happy by being that annoying hyper littler sister that always wanted to play or be told a story. All that I wanted from this trip was to make difference, whether with the children or with the people that I traveled with. The difference that I wanted to make was to be seen as someone who always looked on the brighter side of things and always too willing to make others happy. My brother realized that and he saw how much I grew from being his own annoying little sister to a mature young woman ready to take on the world and with a positive outlook on life.

Coming back to America was a bittersweet feeling. I was happy to see my family but I didn’t like being back in a country where many took their blessings for granted. Returning home made me realize that people focus on such small things compared to the people in South Africa. Listening to my friends talk made me feel sick to my stomach because they worried about the smallest of things like running into someone from high school that they didn’t like. Comparing them to the problems of people in South Africa just made me question myself; here they are worried about little things when over there they worry about survival. Woman latching onto men to survive; to be fed and taken care of, and sometimes not caring for their own child. Children being left on door steps because their mother can’t take care of them because they were born HIV positive or they just didn’t want them. Over there children were just so grateful to be in our presence; to be held and loved by us. They just wanted to feel special and important to someone. They would run up to us not knowing who we were, never having seen us before and still they came running up with open arms just wanting to be held. Here, children don’t even acknowledge you. My own little cousins aren’t even fazed when I walk through the door because they’re too busy playing with their toys. I feel like as an American we are so blessed to have so many opportunities that we just take it for granted, and being on this trip really made me see that. What I once thought as the biggest problem in the world really just turned out to be a grain of salt compared to real problems in the world.

I feel like in many of the situations that we were put in we could have changed a lot. When it came to the children, I feel like we could have donated more money, clothing, supplies. Overall, I feel in every area we lacked time. I loved being with the children and that was something I always looked forward to. This is why I feel like we could have worked harder on being with the children. I know that we went to a lot of different schools, but I feel like if we could have focused in one particular area, we should have. I feel like if we would have gone back to see the children more than once, it would have been more beneficial to not just to us but to the children. It broke my heart when I would go see the children and after spending an amazing time with them, they would ask me if I would see them again tomorrow. Each time got harder and harder to say good bye because I knew that I would not be back tomorrow. What made it even harder was when a group of 4 year olds wouldn’t want to spent time with me or hug me because they knew that I wasn’t coming back. For me, there wasn’t a particular area that I would have changed except staying longer and forming a stronger bond.

Honestly, I don’t care about the grade that I should get for two reasons. One I’m handing this in late and two, I’m solely handing this in because I want Dean Willis as well as everyone that is reading this to understand that trip was absolutely amazing…every single bit of it!  I want everyone to know how it can change someone’s view on life. I don’t care if I get a great grade or not, I really just want it to be known that this trip was extraordinary and that I was blessed to be on it. I am truly grateful for this trip so thank you Dean Willis for sharing your life goal of going to South Africa with a little scared girl who never wanted to grow up.